Sometimes you just need the right lap





What's up?

For any of you who might be wondering why I have not been updating of late - even though I quit my second job, and have all this spare time ...  Last Thursday I got rear ended on my way home.  It was not horribly serious, although I am stiff and have a sore neck that does not allow me to pick up K without pain.  I am going to a chiropractor and massage therapist, and hope to be up-to-par soon enough.

Thankfully K was not in the car, it was just me!  So there is much, for which, to be thankful.

My van on the other hand...  They are totaling her.  I am supposed to get a quote this week, and am hoping for the best.  We are not sure yet whether we are going to get another car - or rough it again with just one.  The main reason we would rough it, is that if we have a car payment I would not be able to quit as soon to stay home with KayLynn.  So, we have decided that if the compensation is at a certain level we will be car shopping.  However, if it is under that specific number then we will redo our electric and insulation and be that much closer to me staying home!!  Besides when I am a SAHM, we wont really need 2 cars, although it is a luxury, to which, I have become accustomed.

So, hopefully I will be back soon with pics and updates...maybe even a new car!

he he he

Since I have no email and I would love to show this to a few people - I will show it to you all...  THIS IS HILARIOUS!!



Pumpkins????!???!???!

Which Pumpkin Farm do you all go to??

Impromptu Date - or - 'Sometimes a Light Surprises'

Last night - after I finished my last few hours at my second job (ever!! yeah!!) I had to go pick up a prescription. KayLynn wanted to go with Mommy - probably since I had been ignoring her because I was working (yeah I'm done!). I took a minute to answer because I was realizing that the moments of her wanting to go on a five minute drive with me are probably limited. I can't really see her wanting to jump in the car for five minutes when she is 13 - but maybe! So, we got a coat and a purse and headed out. Right on our front doorstep we took a minute to admire the beautiful sunset that the Lord gave us, and then got in the car - KayLynn asked if she could drive. Don't worry, I drove.

When we arrived, the prescription was not ready - of course! The Lord, in his goodness and perfect knowledge had given KayLynn and I that time. So, instead of being angry we had a date. We went to Albertsons and she got to pick out a hostess treat for us to split. We then went out on the bench (that she is always begging to sit on) and split our treat. KayLynn said, "Mommy, we eating special treat in the wind". She chatted about how funny daddy was, and how silly she is. She told me in her little broken sentences what she did with Granny, "Present for Baby Cousin. Baby Cousin is in Aunt Mandy's Belly. Name is Jack. We get a monkey present"
We packed up and got my prescription - which still wasn't ready so we sat in the car for 15 minutes playing the opposites game. (KayLynn asks a question and I answer it incorrectly and she has to correct me - she thinks this is hilarious!) We finally got my prescription and headed home - KayLynn drove the last block!

We had such a sweet time, and I was so restored by my little date with the Munchkin. Thank you Lord for such stolen times.

**As a side note, I did spell check and I spelled prescription wrong ever single time I wrote - but different way each time!!! Yep, I am that talented.

A new phase of honesty

I don't know if this is the place for this, or not. This blog is supposed to be about my daughter - so that we (and family and friends) have a record of how she is growing. And, yet, here I am. Talking about how I am doing. I don't know if this is the place; but what I do know, is that not talking about it makes it worse. My biggest complaint about blogging and facebooking - is that it fosters a false sense of relationship. Because we read all about eachothers day-to-day lives, we feel falsly close. We feel like we know the person. It can't be true - I know that many don't know me, so how can I know you?



So, for better or worse, here I am. I am telling you all of my struggles. I will not be offended (or even know) if you just go to the next blog. But, at least I know I am being honest. I am not perfect, and that is hard for me. So, while I will still be updating about KayLynn; I will also be exploring my struggle with anxiety, because that affects my family and especially my daughter.



Maybe my journey can help you if you are struggling, either by letting you know that you are not alone, or by talking. Or, maybe I will just help me, by not feeling so isolated! I don't want to be a fake person anymore. And, whether others are comfortable or not - that means being real. From now on, you will see the real (sinful, imperfect) me.



Andrea wrote on her blog that we don't talk about our struggles. Not me, here I am - the open book.



Sometimes I feel like since I located the problem, it should be fixed. Right?!? I have found that even though I know I am suffering with anxiety, have accepted the fact and have moved forward, it is still with me. Last night I had to have a long talk with my husband explaining that I feel like I have split personalities. I feel like I am outside of my body watching myself overreact and yet am not able to stop it. I take all help from my wonderful husband as a commentary on how I am not able to do it. How ridiculous is that? I mean, obviously. Why would the Lord have given me a 'help meet' if I didn't need help?



I know that I am getting better, this weekend I actually made 2 home-cooked meals, and finished a project I have been wanting to do for a while. But, I also have a long way to go. I have to keep repenting when I use harsh angry (uncalled for) words with my husband for taking care of me and I need to get out of the 'habit' of being overwhelmed. I have to keep repenting by not playing a martyr and taking 'time off' when I need it. I have to keep working out because it gives me good endorphins and a healthy outlet. I have to keep remembering that being overwhelmed is not a sin, but how I deal with it can be.



Also as part of my repenting and being healthy, I will be praying for you. I know that some of you have been overwhelmed - whether its with having another child in the mix, feeling like a single parent because your husband has to work a lot, or just life. I will be adding you to my prayers. Thank you for your support - it means a lot to me.

Soap Lake 2

KayLynn played with max's grandpa We took lots of walks - it is beautiful there.
If this picture panned a little to the right you would see a speck that would be the house.

Probably KayLynn's favorite part was going in the boat in the 'big water'. She talked about it for days.

A view out the back window...KayLynn spending some more time with Grandpa.

KayLynn found a little shopping cart at 'John's Deli'...She had a blast with that.

And, KayLynn got to spend some time with her cousins (they were born within a month of one another)

And, yes, more pics to come!

Soap Lake part1

Over Labor Day Weekend we joined Max's entire family in Soap Lake. We had a good time taking long walks, playing near (and in) the water and just relaxing.

KayLynn is a good little traveler, she just sings...and sings....and talks....

There's a big truck, there's a water fall, there's a puppy, wheres the big truck? ... were some of the many phrases that we heard over and over during the 6 hour trip (supposed to be 3, but with traffic and getting lost...)

We stopped for dinner at the best pizza place in the world. We are going to make a day trip of it some Saturday (its an hour away) and go to the theatre which we hear has couches instead of seats... Wanna go? It's very kid friendly - they even have a rack with kids books on it.

We were very hungry...recognize that shirt?

My side was chicken pesto artichoke, and Max got his favorite - pepperoni (the only kind of pizza I don't like!)

For dessert - you dip your crust in honey - I was surprisingly good.

It was beautiful. First thing we did the first morning was take a walk - we were used to being up much earlier than everyone else in the house!

We found the 'big water' and threw rocks - KayLynn is trying to pick up a really big one like daddy! Look at that sky - amazing.

Max's family grows everything so we were able to have fresh strawberries! KayLynn loved that!

KayLynn found a buddy while we were there. Quinn played with her the whole time, and KayLynn still asks if we can go see Quinn!

KayLynn also fell in love with Torin. It helped that he thought she was cute!

The water was a beautiful blue

And, of course, it was windy! Look at that hair!

**More pics to come, and I promise I was on this vacation

Taking time to stop and smell the roses

Last night...

I tickled KayLynn. I love her laugh. I asked her where her laugh comes from and she said her mouth. So, I told her to open her mouth and I tickled her - she's right!

We had a fashion show. KayLynn tried on all of the clothes we could find to see what fits her (not much) and what does not. Each time, she had to go show daddy. We foudn a few items to leave in the 'dress up' box and one coat that actually covers her (yeah!). I got a special kick out of the dress that was 2T and did not completely cover her little hinney... Not kidding, this girl is tall. The funny thing is that its not legs, in fact they are pretty short - she is all torso...she probably gets that from Granny Tam.

We did chores and cleaned up her room.

We ate carrots together, and everytime she ate one, I jumped up and down and screamed yeah - causing convulsive laughs that made me think she might choke! Ooops.

And, I did not feel guilty that I wasn't doing something else!

Healing begins with repentance

I have been realizing lately that I am very overwhelmed - but not just when a situation calls for it. I am overwhelmed with everything. For example, lately just the thought of having to put KayLynn to bed without Max, overwhelms me. It finally hit a head on Monday and I looked up the symptoms of Anxiety. Yep. That's me, I thought. I had 5 of the 8 emotional symptoms and 8 of the 10 physical symptoms. And, it hit me like a news flash - I am not superwoman, and the Lord (or anyone else for that matter) does not require that of me. In fact the Lord specifically says that we are not enough and we never will be - that's why we have Him.


A lot of my symptoms all started because of the sin of desiring to be and do all. I am repenting of that sin every minute - especially for the pain that it has caused those who love me and have been trying to take care of me. Especially for the pain I have caused my sweet and loving husband, who wanted to take care of me - but I would not let him.

So, in an effort to Repent, I will following what the article says for Self Help for Anxiety. I think that for now, this is how I will start

**Of course, I will be adding to the list: constant prayer and bible reading**


Their questions:
Do you make time each day for relaxation and fun?
KayLynn provides me lots of fun, and we will be scheduling my time off, and I will be calling some of you for some much needed fellowship!
Are you getting the emotional support you need?
I am finally allowing my amazing husband to help, as well as a few others, and with constant prayer...
Are you taking care of your body?
I have started working out with consistently - I joined Max's gym and he is going with me 3 times a week
Are you overloaded with responsibilities?
I have quit my second job or rather given my 'two weeks'
Do you ask for help when you need it?
I am asking


So, please pray for me (and Max) as I implement these in my life, and pray that the Lord will help me cast my burdens upon Him and not try to be superwoman.

Scentsy Party

I am sure you have all been to at least one of the following parties: Tupperware, toy, Mary Kay, pampered chef... Well, I have something new for you that I have fallen in love with.

Scentsy

The people who made this, created a wax that melts at lower temperatures so that it will not burn our children or animals. They are really pretty, have great scents and work very well. I just got mine this week, and I have not turned it off...

So, go ahead - look at the website and then tell me what you want. I will be having what is called a basket party. I will bring all the scents to you - along with the booklet (I will even bring mine so you can test it out if you want) and you can order without the pressure of the saleslady being there. Not only do these smell good, they are nice decorations. Let me know what you think. I will post a picture of mine as soon as I can take one!

The Scentsy Catalog

Also, so you know they are reasonably priced (although it could become an addictive habbit!). I bought one of the small warmers (it just plugs in like a nightlight) for $15 there are a few ways to purchase the scents, and for someone like me who is always buying candles and incense it really is a cheaper (better smelling) option. Plus they have some christmas scents that I can't wait to order!!

Happy Birthday Dad! and mom...

OK so its a week late, and tonight is my mom's birthday...but here are some pictures of our fun evening on my dad's birthday!

KayLynn hiding, closing the door and saying, "where's KK?"
The women, Aunt Tam really likes her figure in this picture
KayLynn is putting stuff together right now, "I going to button your shirt Granny, so you don't get cold" She also loves to tell you that she wears sunglasses so the sun doesn't get in her eyes!

The boys - aren't they cute?

Hangin' with the grandparents

Random Fun

The Big Project part 1

OK - So our big project was a closet re-do. We transformed K's closet into a dress-up/changing/vanity room! We painted it pink, put up a shelf, put up hooks for her dress-up cloths and set her jewelry on her 'vanity'. There is a tupperware under the vanity for her hats, shoes and purses. She loves being able to dress-up at will - especially the jewelry.
K calls the following shoes her zipper shoes... I think it is because the two rows of 'diamonds' may look like a zipper to her!

We put up a rose petal valance (I'm not sure what you would call it) for decorations, and made the light pull long enough so that she can turn it on and off when she wants.

Posing for the camer and showing mommy her dress-ups..

Getting all dressed up.

I am sure that you moms know, its easier to clean paint off skin than cotton... We started by painting butterflies

Then the paintbrush just got to be a bother...

So we made hand prints - KayLynn loved painting Mommy's hand!

Then we strung up some twine and hung our art up to dry...

More fun art to come.

PS If you would like some foam butterflies (pink, purple, yello and orange) to use for a project, let me know - I have tons!

Motorcycle and the Library

We went to the library, and KayLynn got some practice on her 'motorcycle'

When she got tired, she put her feet up and daddy pushed her 'really fast'!
Reading at the library...a book about the dentist - cause we are going soon...

On the way home, she was tired of the motorcycle, so she hiked up her skirts and ran home!