Yesterday was one of the hardest days since bringing my son home with us. But, it was also one of the most rewarding. My son and I battled. I held him for over an hour while he tried to get his way. He used hitting, kicking, biting, pinching, screaming and tears to try to win me over to his side of the argument. I prayed and sang hymns to myself while I stayed calm, and stayed the course. I was exhausted by the time that child fell asleep for his nap. He slept. Fast forward to bedtime. I was nervous, but ready. I sat down in the rocking chair with my son, who talked and cooed away at me. When I laid him down he giggled, said something to me (Im guessing, thank you for making me obey) and rolled over to sleep.
I have always believed that boundaries help children feel safe and loved. As many of you know I am pretty strict with my kids. They work hard and they have as much responsibility as I think they can handle(many may not agree with what i think they can handle). But I try to play hard with them as well as rewarding them as much as possible. I love taking them to all their favorite places and rewarding them with special treats. Probably I learned this way of parenting from my own parents, but I also think I have been given a clear guide in the bible. i believe that my day yesterday was a perfect picture or our salvation. Christ keeps telling us that his way is better, but we kick and scream trying to get out of it, only to see that He is right. His way is better. Christ expects a lot from us, our entire selves. But the reward is great!
So, yes, yesterday was hard. I have many bruises from my son. But I think I learned something, and I hope my son did as well. Fighting the good fight is well worth the smiles and giggles that my adorable and charming little man can give me, if only I will give him what he needs.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Learning to parent the right child, that's the real challenge, isn't it? I may have parented me daughter in one way in those early years. But my son; with all the same genes to chose from, is a totally different person. She is cheerful and imaginative while he is adventurous and outspoken. Sometimes they must be left alone to figure something out and sometimes they need me right beside them. I am just now learning that those instances will never look the same. I cannot use KayLynn techniques with Logan, or vice verse.
Focus on the Family had a great article on Determining your child's personality type. I learned that Logan is what they call Choleric: adventurous, determined, outspoken, competitive, strong-willed. And KayLynn is referred to as Sanguine: playful, sociable, talkative, lively, imaginative. Romans is such a good reminder for me, "Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." I love both of my children and they both have been given gifts from the Lord to use in His service. I get the honor of helping my children figure out what their gifts are and how to use them. My son will probably be a leader and a fighter for the truth. I know that my daughter will encourage people as she does me. What a blessing to be a part of the Lords work in such a hands on way. And, what a burden. I must be honest I am overwhelmed by this task. It is hard work. Sometimes its spiritual and emotional work. Other days, like today, it is a physical battle. I have the bruises to prove it. So I must gird my loins and prepare for this blessed work.
I need to learn how to meet my children where they are, not drag them to my ideas of the perfect children.
I covet prayers as I learn to parent my strong, independent son and my talkative, playful little girl. I will be praying everyday that I can show them to the Lord. I pray that my son will be a champion for the Truth and my daughter will show compassion to the world. I know that I am not able to do this, but Christ is. I will be praying for His strength and guidance each day so that my children will love and serve our God.