Monday, September 17, 2012
It's just so damn hard
I know that's harsh, but...well... I hate to write this kind of blog post, but I just can't write platitudes today, and I need to get it off my shoulders! I haven't written in a long time because this(homemaking/mothering/wifeing)is hard work. I am doing it and we are all making it, but even on good days i feel like I am treading water. I told Max last night that I just feel empty. Everyone needs me right now and I just don't have a lot more to give. I can feed bellya and wipe buns and I'm barely keeping up with the house, but that's all I've got right now. I have never been this consistently tired in my life. They call preemies perpetual newborns for a reason...my son is 2 months and 25 days old and still wakes every 2.5 hours at night. To top that off my daughter has started to wake at night. I think it's an attention thing(she did the same thing when I started working full time when she was little...she just needs the attention), but it's taking it out of me. I know that the Lord will never give me more than I can handle, but sometimes I don't actually believe it! I'm praying and hanging in there; but... if I don't seem very life-like when you talk to me, please forgive me and I will make it up later!